Just Engaged?
Here’s Exactly What to Do First
(Before You Start Booking Everything)
There’s a sparkly new ring on your finger, your notifications are blowing up, and suddenly your For You Page is all wedding inspo. But while it’s tempting to dive into booking vendors, buying dresses, and building mood boards, there’s a smarter way to start your planning journey.
Let’s take a deep breath, avoid the overwhelm, and walk through exactly what to do first after getting engaged so your wedding planning feels exciting—not chaotic.
1. Celebrate First (Before You Get Strategic)
Before you start Googling venues or scrolling Pinterest for bouquet ideas, take time to soak it all in. This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Whether it’s an intimate celebration for two or a surprise party with friends, mark the occasion in a way that feels special to you.
Try this:
- Take engagement photos (even if they’re casual)
- Write each other a letter about the proposal day
- Pop champagne and toast to the journey ahead
These little moments become the memories you’ll carry with you when planning gets stressful later on.
2. Talk About Your Big Picture Vision
Now that the “YES!” has settled, it’s time to talk about the what, why, and how of your wedding day. Skip the to-do list for now and focus on your shared vision.
Key Questions to Discuss Together:
- What kind of vibe do we want? (Elegant, relaxed, destination, backyard, glam, boho…)
- Do we want something big or small?
- What feeling do we want our guests (and ourselves) to leave with?
- Are there any traditions we definitely want or want to skip?
- How involved do we want to be in the planning?
This isn’t about locking in decisions—it’s about getting aligned so you don’t plan a wedding that reflects Pinterest trends more than your relationship.
3. Set Your Budget (This Is Crucial)
Budget is the number one factor that will shape your guest list, venue, vendor team, and overall design. And spoiler alert: weddings cost more than most couples expect.
Here’s how to start:
- Determine who’s contributing (you, parents, others)
- Decide on a total budget and a flexible buffer
- Research average costs in your area (they vary a lot)
- Allocate your budget by priority (Venue + Catering usually = 40–50%)
Pro Tip: Focus spending on what matters most to you (ex: killer photos, food, or florals) and reduce costs in areas that don’t light you up.
4. Choose a Rough Timeframe or Season
You don’t need an exact date yet, but choosing a general season or month helps you start checking venue availability and plan around weather, travel, or important life events (like graduations, births, or football season if your family’s that type).
Questions to Ask:
- Do we want to get married in 6 months, 12 months, or longer?
- Is there a meaningful date or season for us?
- Are we open to weekdays or off-season weddings to save money?
Bonus: Popular months like September, October, and May book up fast, so starting early gives you better vendor options.
5. Draft Your Guest List (At Least Roughly)
You don’t need the full spreadsheet with mailing addresses yet, but your guest count impacts everything: venue size, catering budget, rental needs, and more.
Start by building three columns:
- Must-have guests (family, ride-or-dies)
- Nice-to-have guests
- Optional guests (plus-ones, coworkers, distant relatives)
Pro Tip: Don’t stress about final numbers yet—just get a sense of scale.
6. Start Venue Searching (But Don’t Panic-Book)
Once you know your guest count, vibe, and budget, you’re ready to start looking for venues. Your venue sets the tone for your entire wedding and often eats the largest slice of your budget pie.
Tips for Touring Venues:
- Ask what’s included (tables, chairs, rentals, day-of coordination?)
- Inquire about backup plans for bad weather
- Ask how long you get access to the venue
- Get clear on setup and breakdown policies
- Ask for a sample contract
Avoid this mistake: Booking a pretty venue without understanding how much extra you’ll need to bring in (think: lighting, restrooms, staffing, etc.).
7. Research and Book Key Vendors Early
Once your venue and date are confirmed, lock in the most in-demand vendors first. These often book up 12–18 months in advance.
Book These First:
- Photographer/Videographer
- Wedding Planner or Coordinator
- Catering Team (if not provided by venue)
- Entertainment (Band or DJ)
Then move onto florals, rentals, hair and makeup, stationery, etc.
Pro Tip: Ask vendors who they love working with—referrals can help you build a cohesive dream team.
8. Get Organized (Without a 500-Tab Spreadsheet)
You don’t need a complicated wedding binder or 12 apps, but you do need a system that works for you.
Try This:
- Set up a dedicated email for wedding stuff (e.g. thefuturemrandmrs@gmail.com)
- Use a shared Google Doc or Trello board
- Bookmark vendor websites and inspiration
- Keep contracts in one easy-to-find folder
There are plenty of tools, but consistency is more important than complexity.
9. Don’t Forget the Legal Stuff
Depending on your state or country, you may need to plan ahead for:
- Marriage license wait times or expiration windows
- Blood tests (rare, but still required in some areas)
- Officiant rules and registration
- Name change steps (if applicable)
Tip: Add legal to-dos to your calendar so you’re not scrambling a week before the wedding.
10. Stay Grounded in What Matters
It’s easy to lose yourself in seating charts and signature cocktails, but the best weddings aren’t about perfection—they’re about presence. Don’t get swept into doing everything just because it’s expected.
Keep coming back to this question:
“Does this feel like us?”
The most unforgettable weddings are the ones where the couple is happy, relaxed, and connected—not the ones with the most Instagrammable flower wall.
Bonus: What Not to Do Right Away
Avoid these common mistakes couples make after getting engaged:
- Booking vendors before choosing your venue
- Announcing your date before locking anything in
- Letting other people’s opinions run the show
- Assuming DIY always saves money
- Trying to do everything at once
Planning a wedding is a process. There’s no prize for doing it the fastest.
Final Thoughts
Getting engaged is magical—but it can quickly turn into overwhelm if you don’t pause and prioritize. Starting with a solid foundation sets you up for a wedding that’s not only beautiful, but also meaningful, joyful, and uniquely you.
So breathe. Celebrate. Get aligned with your partner. Then start building the day of your dreams—with clarity and intention.
And if you’re a wedding pro reading this: this is the content your newly engaged couples are searching for in January. Blog it. Post it. Share it. Position yourself as the calm guide during one of the most exciting (and chaotic) seasons of their life.
